Professor Puffapod's Plants
by sweaterweather21
Summary: An old trunk found in Sirius's bedroom gives Harry an unexpected perspective on the lives of his parents. / a collection of James and Lily's school essays from their time at Hogwarts \\ essentially a love story.
1. Prologue

**Professor Puffapod's Plants  
**sweaterweather21

Summary: An old trunk found in Sirius's bedroom gives Harry an unexpected perspective on the lives of his parents. / a collection of James and Lily's school essays from their time at Hogwarts \\ essentially a love story.

Author's Note: Hello! It's been a while since I've been working on fanfiction and when I suddenly got some inspiration to write, this fic was here for me! I started it a few years ago, and my idea was good but my writing was atrocious. So I've decided to polish it (aka basically rewriting the whole first chapter) and finish it off! I promise this will be the last time I annoy you with my stupid ramblings before I get to the story, I just wanted to introduce the story a bit. And before I forget, an extra special thanks to the lovely sarcastic sister **M. Rose10 **for some quick beta-ing. Thanks so much Mads :)

Universal Disclaimer: (This applies to all chapters, as I am forgetful most of the time) I do not own Harry Potter and characters; they are all of J.K.'s creation.

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**Chapter 1: Prologue**

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Harry stared at the door for what felt like a millennium. On second thought, he should've brought someone with him. But in classic Harry Potter fashion, his obstinate ways got the best of him; he had insisted on doing this by himself, after all. He thought of sending a Patronus to Ginny, but she had taken an extra assignment covering a Quidditch playoff game. Ron and Hermione crossed his mind, but it was a Monday after all, and they usually reserved those for date nights.

He closed his eyes briefly. He would have to do this by himself. It was probably better this way anyway.

With a deep breath, he opened his eyes and faced the door head on. It was just as grim and foreboding as Harry remembered it. It was made of what had probably been an expensive piece of mahogany, carved with elaborate designs and festooned with an ugly gold knocker.

A simple "Alohomora!" opened the door; as a favor, Bill had stopped by previously to remove all the enchantments on the entrance. Harry took a small step inside, surprised by the eerie quietness of it all. A familiar feeling of unease crept over him. He had never liked this place.

Kreacher had died a few years ago, and subsequently 12 Grimmauld Place had fallen into disrepair. The putrid stench was thick in the air, and the outdated wallpaper was peeling. A rusted chandelier swung unevenly back and forth, half of the lights burnt out.

Not wanting to linger much longer, Harry made his way forward. As he passed the portrait of Walburga Black on the wall, her sleeping form woke up and immediately commenced screaming obscenities about neglect and blood traitors. Harry ignored her, and ascended up the staircase toward Sirius's old room.

The whole purpose for Harry's visit was to collect some of Sirius's personal items. A few months ago, with all three of their kids away at Hogwarts, Harry and Ginny had decided to undertake the process of remodeling Grimmauld Place. They weren't sure what they planned on doing with the property once it was finished, but they agreed that it couldn't remain in its current state. They had already had specialists in to take care of the dirty work: a librarian to sort through the immense library and purge the all of the dark books, an enchanter to dispose of the dark artifacts lying around the house, and a magical exterminator to get rid the vermin that had infested the house. Grimmauld Place was ready for a complete overhaul, until Ginny had reminded Harry that he hadn't been through Sirius' room yet.

Harry had put off the task for a few weeks before Ginny brought it up again, asking if he wanted her to come with him. Harry had refused. He was a fully grown man now—surely he could handle the memories of his godfather by himself?

That was how he now found himself standing in what had once been the bedroom of a teenage Sirius Black.

Surprisingly, his first reaction was to grin. The posters of the muggle biker girls had stood the test of time; they were still attached to the Gryffindor-red walls with a Permanent Sticking Charm.

There was a bit of random clutter around the room, but not as much as Harry had expected. He guessed that after Azkaban, Sirius didn't have much time to obtain too many possessions. There were mostly things from his teenage days, some old textbooks and magazines, the odd article of clothing, and random bits of parchment.

Harry picked up an old broomstick, figuring he'd let Albus keep it. He had his own broomstick of course, a nice one at that. But Albus was the curious sort, and Harry thought he'd enjoy looking at the older broom and examining the charms on it and such.

He picked up a couple of dog-eared pranking guides with notes in the margin for James. He hesitated for a moment, knowing that if he gave James the guides his mischief-making pastime at Hogwarts would no doubt increase exponentially. However, in the moment all Harry could think about was how excited James would be to receive the guides. He was always asking about the Marauders.

He snooped around for a few more minutes before finding a worn picture frame. He flipped it over to find a picture of the Marauders in front of the Whomping Willow. Looking closer, Harry estimated that it was probably taken around their fifth year. The four boys were all laughing and pointing to something outside the camera's range. Harry smiled at the image for a few seconds longer before putting it in his bag and giving the room a final glance.

However, a small trunk partially hidden underneath the bed caught his attention. The trunk was didn't have a padlock, but was latched shut. Curiously, Harry opened it.

The trunk seemed to be filled with many pieces of aged parchment, bundled and sorted in an almost organized fashion. Harry almost disregarded the trunk as a set of old school papers until he noticed a small note stuck to the top of the inside lid. On it, written in a girl's fancy cursive, were the words "Happy Anniversary Lily and James!"

Immediately intrigued, Harry picked up the next piece of parchment that had been sitting on the top of all the rest of the papers. It turned out to be a longer note in the same handwriting.

_Dearest Prongs and Lily-flower,_

_Even though we tried to keep it a secret, it was obvious that there was a bet going around during Seventh Year over when you two would finally get together. It should be noted that it was the one and only, charming and fantastically good-looking Sirius Black who won that bet with his awesome powers of prediction._

_All right, that's enough Sirius. We all know you had a T in your Divination NEWTs._

_But anyway, what I was trying to say before Sirius interrupted me was that during our Seventh Year at Hogwarts, we essentially watched the two of you fall in love. As disturbing as that might sound to some people, it was sweet that after all those years of constant screaming and food fights, you two finally realized that the passionate feeling you shared wasn't hatred, it was love._

_Okay, I'm sick of your sap Cal. The point is, when we got the announcement that you two are going to celebrate your first anniversary on Tuesday, we realized that we forgot to say "WE TOLD YOU SO!" We all knew back in first year when James wouldn't stop pulling Lily's pigtails that you were meant to be. So this present is basically proof that we were right the whole time._

_I'm not saying I disagree with Sirius, but to put it in nicer words, this present is an interesting collection of items from your Hogwarts that can be a reminder of how you two finally got together._

_We hope you appreciate this! We had to employ several interesting methods to gather all the objects in this trunk._

_Love you two goons,_

_Calpurnia Ember & Sirius Black_

There was no way his curiosity would stop now, so Harry carefully unrolled the first piece of parchment in the trunk.

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**a/n: **And that's the first chapter! I promise the ensuing ones will be much longer, this was just to get things started.

I'd love to know what you think! Please leave a review – what do you think is written on the parchment? That's kind of a dumb question considering you know the answer if you've read the summary, but I'd like to hear your opinion all the same :)


	2. Fairytales and Bad First Impressions

**Professor Puffapod's Plants  
**sweaterweather21

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**Chapter 2: Fairytales and Bad First Impressions  
**_First Year Essays_**  
**

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My Own Personal Fairytale  
By Lily Evans, Year One

Hogwarts is amazing! Sorry about that random outburst, it's just that I had to get that thought out of my brain right away. This whole week has just been a whirlwind of amazing events and people and that was the first coherent thought I could manage to put together.

It's just that I can't believe I went the first eleven years of my life not knowing about this!

Okay, wait, I'm getting way too far ahead of myself. I always do this to myself. Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Lily Evans, and I'm a First Year Gryffindor student here at Hogwarts. I first found out I was a witch a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm attending this amazing school for witches and wizards and we're doing spells and making potions and I still can't believe it.

Oh, and I skimmed over the most important fact! I can do magic!

Right now, I'm in Herbology class, writing this essay that Professor Puffapod has assigned us. We're supposed to be writing about our current emotions and feelings. She believes that before dealing with magical plants, you first need to be in control of your own emotions. Apparently, they can pick up on your aura, and it influences their growth patterns. She told us to mention any new people we've met, our impression of the school, our professors, and our favorite classes. Thank Merlin (did you catch that, I'm picking up on some of the strange wizarding sayings already!) it's not going to be turned in.

So far, Hogwarts is absolutely amazing. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and dad and even Petunia when she's not sulking, but this place just feels right. Scratch that, better than right. Hogwarts feels like my own personal fairytale.

Dad used to read me bedtime stories that seemed to describe this place. Everything is just so amazingly gorgeous here. The ceiling in the entrance hall is out of this world—it's charmed to look like the night sky. One night after dinner I stayed behind to admire it and found that you can actually pick out the individual constellations! The staircases that connect the different floors move to a different landing every time you use them. This makes getting to class on time a difficult task, especially so when the ancient portraits in odd clothing decide to make small talk to you as you pass by.

I enjoy all of the teachers here as well, although they are admittedly quite different than what I am used to back home. However, I have a feeling I'll get along with them just fine. Most have extremely high expectations for all of us, and I'm looking forward to meeting the challenge, as nerdy as that sounds. It's just that I'm new to this whole thing and I feel like giving anything less than my best wouldn't be acceptable.

Our Potions Master, Professor Slughorn, is very nice and jolly, but even just in this first week, I've already noticed his tendency to pick favorites. My first impression of Professor Puffapod is that she is quite knowledgeable about plants and their properties. She does seem to be a bit too concerned with their protection (okay, now I'm really hoping she doesn't decide to read these!). Professor Flitwick, who teaches Charms, definitely knows his stuff and has a good attitude while our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Professor Rawle, is rather cryptic, which makes for an interesting lesson. It's definitely a different approach to teaching, but it works—everyone pays attention. The History of Magic teacher is Professor Binns. He's a ghost! This shocked me on the first day, but I quickly snapped out of it once I realized how dull he is. Don't tell! But I think my favorite professor is Professor McGonagall, who teaches Transfiguration, coincidentally my worst subject. I like her strictness, while still allowing us to learn. She's also very open for questions, which I appreciate because I always seem to have some.

But the best part is that I've already made a bunch of new friends! The first is Calpurnia Ember—she's what you would call a pureblood, meaning that all of her family members have been magical (I'm still not quite sure on all of these magical terms, but I'm pretty confident that I got the definition right). I met her on the train and she's been a great friend these past few days, teaching me things I wouldn't have known otherwise and just sticking by me in general. Alice Dearborn is another kind dorm mate of mine—I believe she's the sweetest person I've ever met. And I can't forget about Severus Snape! He wasn't sorted into my house, but he's been really nice to me ever since he found out that I have magical ability way back when he first met me in Spinner's End.

To add further to the magic of Hogwarts, just yesterday Remus Lupin told me about the most curious creatures! They're called house elves, and supposedly they do all the work around the castle, cooking and cleaning and keeping it running. The funny thing is that we never see them! I told him that they kind of seem like slaves, but he assured me that they're not.

Overall, Hogwarts seems to be a perfectly magical fairytale. A month ago I could've never imagined that a place like this existed, not even in my wildest dreams! However, every fairytale must have an evil villain, a thorn in the heroine's side. Sadly, my fairytale has its own wicked with.

Okay, I take that back. He's not exactly a wicked witch (ironic, because there actually are plenty of witches here, hahaha), more like a pain in my bum if you know what I mean.

His name is James Potter. I know I shouldn't really judge a person's character prematurely, but I'm pretty sure I've gotten the extent of his personality in our encounter. I positively cannot stand him!

It all started out innocently enough. After breakfast yesterday, I met Sev outside the way out of the Great Hall and we walked to Potions together. In the middle of talking to him, I was hit with an odd curse that made my legs wobble uncontrollably. (Later I looked the exact name up – it's called a Jelly-Legs Jinx). I shrieked, nearly tripping on the steps and spilling all my books to the floor. I looked around in shock, my eyes landing on a messy-haired boy with an arrogant smirk. He barely shrugged in my direction before sauntering away with his friends. I stood in my spot, unable to move partially due to the jinx and partially due to my embarrassment as Sev picked up my books and helped me to my feet. He continued to support me the rest of the way to Potions, where Professor Slughorn kindly murmured the counter-jinx for me.

Quickly, I calmed myself down. Unluckily, I have a hot temper and the last thing I wanted to do was to lose it in front of all my classmates. I'm happy to report despite the incident in the hallway, I managed to brew our first potions (a boil-cure concoction) almost perfectly. Professor Slughorn was quite impressed. Just as I was walking out the door, I caught a glimpse of the same boy wearing the same smirk from before. Judging from Sev's facial expression, he was saying something particularly unpleasant to him.

I was livid. I dropped my book bag on the floor and marched straight over to Potter, clutching my wand tightly. "What in the name of Merlin is your problem? First you jinx me, and then you insult my best friend!"

The boy didn't even bat an eye, running his fingers through that uncontrollable hair of his. "Sorry about this morning. I wasn't aiming for you. It was supposed to hit the sniveling loser you were walking with." Further enraging me, the boy didn't look the least bit sorry as he said this. His mouth was set straight, but I could see a bit of arrogance dancing in his eyes.

He was talking about Severus Snape, my best friend, completely innocent in this whole ordeal. I squared my shoulders to the boy, looked him straight in the eyes, and raised my voice.

"What did he even do to you? You have no right to do that to anyone in the hallway, much less someone who has done absolutely nothing to you. I suggest you apologize right now!"

The boy kept his cool, only further adding to my rage. He merely smirked and held out his hand for a handshake. "Nice to meet you. I'm James Potter. What's your name?"

Without a second though, I whipped out my wand and cast a hex I learned in The Standard Book of Spells, Year One. His hair turned green on the spot.

Needless to say, I didn't return his handshake.

He stared at me for a moment with an unrecognizable expression before he stalked off with his gang of idiots.

We've been enemies ever since. In most fairytales, there's some kind of mystical weapon that will defeat any enemy. Sadly, I think I'm out of luck in this situation. I can barely find my way around the castle as it is! Maybe I should ask Calpurnia. She has plenty of older brothers; she might have some revenge plans up her sleeve…

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Unfortunate First Encounters  
By James Potter, First Year

You have got to be kidding me right now. An essay on the first day? And to make it worse, it's about your feelings. I'm not writing this.

Okay, Puffapod is making me write. I'm supposed to talk about my experience at Hogwarts so far, my favorite classes, and so on and so forth.

Sounds boring.

I really don't want to do this.

All right, Professor, I'll get to work! Sorry!

Well if I have to do this I might as well make it count.

I'm not going to waste any time telling you about the amazing moving staircases, the powerful Headmaster Dumbledore, and all of the fantastic staff. That's boring.

Instead, I'm going to tell you about the people. My mum used to say I have a talent for picking up unnoticeable stuff about people, and I have a feeling that this is going to come in handy here at Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

I'll start with my mates. Sirius Black first. We had an interesting first encounter on the train. Let's just say that I misjudged the fact that he was a Black… anyway, we got over that pretty quick, and now he's my best mate. Saying we get along fine is like saying that the Knight Bus barely ever goes over the speed limit. I swear, if I wasn't sure that I'm an only child, I would've thought that we were twins, separated at birth. He shares my love of mischief and pranking, which is great, because we've already planned a major one that's supposed to go off at breakfast tomorrow (I wouldn't drink the pumpkin juice if I were you). Sirius also has a knack of charming people to get what he wants – during the Welcoming Feast he managed to convince Davy Gudgeon to "loan" him his Remembrall.

My next mate is Remus Lupin. Even though I've only known the bloke for a few days, I already have a feeling that there's something different about him. I picked up on it right away, but I can't figure it out and it frustrates me to no end. Anyway, he's a good guy. He's less into pranking than Sirius and I are, but he still helped us work out one of the kinks in our prank last night. He seems pretty level-headed, but he has quite the obsession with chocolate! I glanced into his trunk yesterday morning and half the thing was filled with Honeydukes' finest. Remus is also good with people. On the first night, I saw him calming down a hysterical Peter Pettigrew, who was homesick.

Speaking of Peter Pettigrew, he's the last of my new friends here. I'm not exactly sure why he was sorted into Gryffindor but I think he's a pretty good bloke. Sirius says that we should only keep him around because he has the complete collection of Chocolate Frog Cards, but he was just kidding around. At least I think he was. Clearly there's more to Peter than that though. He seems like a nice guy, loyal and keen on sticking around.

But by far the most interesting person I've met here is Lily Evans. I first got a glimpse of her on the train ride here. She's fairly pale, but she's just got this shocking mane of red hair and I can't stop looking at it. It's so bright. It almost looks like it would be hot if you touched it. I would go up and yank on it a bit, but she's still got her knickers in a twist about this morning.

About that… well needless to say we didn't get off to the best start, exactly. Apparently the greasy Slytherin Severus Snape is her best friend. Who knew? I didn't. I'd rather not go into details if you don't mind. Let's just say there are a couple of green streaks left in my hair.

Evans has been ignoring my past couple of attempts to touch her hair. Maybe one last try?

Well, that could've gone better. Shut up, Sirius. Don't call me a prat! I was only trying to get her attention. Remus is rolling his eyes, saying I blew my chance. At least I tried.

I guess I could try pranking her. That would get her attention, right? I should consult Sirius when he stops laughing. Remus might have a few good ideas too, if I can get him to look away from his textbooks. Maybe I'll ask Peter for help too, he seems eager enough.

I'm getting tired of this. Remus just ignored me in favor of finishing his essay, but Sirius said he'll help me think up a good idea to get back at Evans.

All right, I'm off to manage some mischief. Wish me luck.

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**a/n:** Hey, it's me again! Thanks for reading. This was a pretty quick update (4 days) for me at least, and I'll be trying to keep up with posting about twice a week but we'll see about that haha. Anyway, Chapter 3 is currently finished and beta'd, so at least that one will be on time. Chapter 4 is still in the works and I only have a few parts written out after that.

So, what did you think? Which essay did you like better, Lily's or James's? Who was more at fault for their bad first impression of each other?

And here's a big question: in the upcoming chapters, would you like me to stick to the format of just Lily and James's POVs, or should I include some essays from the other characters, such as Sirius, Remus, Peter, Calpurnia (who I've mentioned a bit, she's Lily's OC friend), and Severus? Let me know :) Thanks again for reading!


	3. Extreme Annoyance and Clarity

**Professor Puffapod's Plants  
**sweaterweather21**  
**

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**Chapter 3: Extreme Annoyance & Clarity  
**_Second Year Essays_**  
**

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Homicidal Intentions  
By Lily Evans, Year Two

Professor Puffapod has assigned us to write about our emotions yet again. Apparently the Elladorean Roots have been looking a bit peaky lately and she traced the problem back to us, saying we've been too high-strung lately. I really don't like to disrespect teachers but this seems slightly barmy. I'm praying to Merlin she doesn't decide to read these.

What to write about? Absolutely nothing is bothering me. All of my classmates are scribbling furiously on their parchment. I, for one, do not have such emotional problems as, say, Potter over there. I don't need to vent on a stupid piece of paper.

Speaking of Potter, I think I've found a topic for this paper. Things have definitely gotten worse between us since last year when I wrote about fairytales.

I can't even find the right words to describe him. It's absolutely infuriating.

Some days it feels like I can't even eat my breakfast in peace without finding a fake spider in my pumpkin juice or my fork doing a tap dance on my plate. I suppose I should be grateful that he's not practicing the Unforgiveable Curses on me, but I shouldn't have to just accept the constant pranking. It's downright ridiculous, not to mention extremely annoying. I wish he would just leave me alone.

Of course Alice says I'm overreacting, but she gets along with everyone. She actually goes out of her way to be nice to Marcus Warrington, the boy in our year who never talks to anyone. Sometimes she'll try multiple times to start a conversation with him, but he just rejects all of them in favor of staring off into the distance.

But if Alice is bad, Cal is worse. She's actually friends with some of those boys and doesn't understand how I get so mad. It's not hard—I'm sure she'd feel differently if she was the one finding things in her pumpkin juice every morning!

I've had enough talking about Potter. Just the mention of his name is usually enough to set me off, and the whole purpose of this essay is to calm down, right?

Petunia still hasn't written to me yet this year. Last year she did, but I could tell that they were letters overseen my mum to make sure she was actually writing them. They were bland and obviously lies ("I hope you're having a good time." "How's Hogwarts?" "Make any friends yet?") but it was somewhat comforting that my only sister actually was acknowledging that I existed. For as much as I write mum that it doesn't bother me, that I'm making new friends and everything's great, I miss her.

We used to be so close. We were sisters and best friends all rolled in one. Our house was located in the outskirts of town, not within walking distance of any of our elementary school friends' houses, and a lot of times we were each other's only company. I can't fathom the number of hours we spent together playing with our stuffed animals, making forts, and climbing trees outside (well, that was mostly me climbing trees while Tuney sat on the lowest branch looking worried). All it took was the arrival of one letter from a faraway place to change everything.

I love Hogwarts, but I hate that it's taken Petunia from me.

Merlin, no wonder Professor Puffapod was looking at me when she assigned this. I'm a mess. First I'm angry at Potter, and then I'm sad at Petunia… I need to write about something that makes me happy.

Magic makes me happy. I know that sounds weird, like I'm obsessed with it or something, but it's true. Maybe it's just because I'm muggleborn, but there's nothing like the feeling of casting a spell correctly or brewing a perfect potion. That's probably why I push myself so hard to do things right. The feeling of success is awesome, but with the added factor of magic, it's ten times better.

That's why I feel like some of the pureblood kids take things for granted. Me, I count my lucky stars every day that I have magical blood. I don't even care that I'm a muggleborn and that somehow makes me worth less in some people's eyes. They were born around magic. It's been part of their lives forever, but none of them seem to get that excited over Transfiguration class. I just can't imagine being given the opportunity to create magic and not wanting to do your absolute best.

Loathe as I am to give any sort of praise to Potter and his friends, that's one thing I admire about them. Whether it's through a particularly clever prank or an ingenious little invention, they always seem fascinated by magic. And while it doesn't usually seem to show up in the classroom (Black in particular is known for snoring during History of Magic), at least I'm not the only one who loves being magical.

I also really enjoy spending time with Cal and Alice. Cal's real name is Calpurnia (don't tell anyone I told you that, she'll have my hide) and she's from one of those long-standing pureblooded families I've been telling you about. She's not at all bored or unaffected though. Cal believes in always speaking your mind without thinking of the consequences. I know I'm not the best at thinking before I speak, but that girl has no filter. She's also quite obsessed with Quidditch. She goes out with Potter nearly every morning when she bothers to get her lazy bum out of bed on time to work on their passing, and sometimes Black tags along to hit bludgers at them. I love hanging out with Cal because we usually end up in stitches. I swear, without that girl my life would only be half as interesting. Unlike Alice and me, she doesn't care to follow the rules too much, which is usually how we end up on some weird adventures.

Just the other night she dragged us out of the dormitory on a wild goose chase to find the kitchens. (Don't tell, but it was my first time sneaking out!) According to her brother, anyone who can find the entrance to the legendary kitchens of Hogwarts will be rewarded with the eternal allegiance of the house elves and a lifetime's supply of extra culinary treats. Obviously us three were all over that. We were going to go looking around after dinner, but then Alice got caught up in talking to Paige, another roommate of ours, about the Astronomy essay, and by the time she was done we were supposed to be in our beds. That didn't stop Cal from making us go, though. I felt like one of those spies you see in all the movies, wearing dark clothes and moving around sneakily. After about an hour of searching, we gave up, without ever catching a glimpse of our destination. However, Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris caught a glimpse of us just before we went back through the portrait hole. Luckily we were close enough to our dormitory that Filch didn't have time to catch us. I tell you, it was an adrenaline rush! I'm still not sure it was worth breaking the rules though.

Alice is (thankfully) different than Cal. She's the absolute nicest person I've ever met. Even when I'm complaining about Potter or Cal's complaining about someone annoying like Jaime Byron, an airheaded Hufflepuff in our year, Alice never has a mean word to say about anyone. She's constantly smiling about something or another, which is one of my favorite things about her. Even if I've had a bad day, sometimes just a look at Alice is enough to lighten my mood a bit. She's also the type of person who really enjoys talking to people—I'm pretty sure Alice could make conversation with a brick wall. Just the other day she stayed after class to ask Professor Binns a question. I'm not lying.

Well, I think I've successfully accomplished the task of dealing with my emotions. As much as I don't really enjoy writing these essays, it's true that I do feel slightly better afterward. I guess things don't seem so bad once you've written them down on paper (or at least, easier to deal with).

* * *

Clearly  
By James Potter, Second Year

Oh, dear Professor Puffapod. Why must you give us these stupid assignments about dealing with our feelings? I am thirteen. Of course I'm capable of dealing with my own emotional problems. (Although according to the lovely Lily Evans I can't, and need to see Healer Pomfrey more often for some psychological treatment). Since I'm already bored of writing this essay, I think I'll switch to a list. That seems easier.

1)

Severus Snape clearly needs to get a life beyond Potions. If it was up to me, maybe I'd spend some of that extra time brushing up on some good hexes (really, the Marauders need a better challenge than the one he puts up) and investing in some nice-smelling shampoo.

If I'm being honest here, I'm not actually sure why I dislike him so much. Maybe it's just because he's a Slytherin. Maybe it's because he's friends with Lily Evans. Maybe it's because he hates me just as much as I hate him. Hate doesn't really have to have a reason, does it? At least it's mutual.

And it's not like we're picking on some little munchkin who can't defend himself. Snivellus is a second year, perfectly capable of using his wand. And he's not the innocent victim in any of our … erhm "incidents" for lack of a better term. Why just last week Remus had to go to the hospital wing when Snape hit him with a hex that made warts grow all over his body. Of course we weren't going to let him get away with that!

2)

Clearly, the above-mentioned Professor Puffapod should stop giving us these completely pointless assignments and do something productive, such as letting her classes have the day off.

If I'm being honest here, I don't really understand the whole science of Herbology. I know it's a mandatory class at Hogwarts for a reason, but I don't get what's so difficult about taking care of magical plants. I suppose I could ask Peter, as he seems to get bitten by a different species nearly every class…

Plus Professor Puffapod is absolutely barmy! Some of the other students write her off as just being a bit protective of her work but I think it's a little weirder than that. Maybe it's because she never had kids and considers the plants to be the babies that she never had? That actually makes a load of sense. Why else would she be so concerned about our supposed "mental state of health" around them. As odd as it sounds, I get it. You wouldn't want a psychopath taking care of your newborn, would you?

In a twisted way, I guess I understand her now. I'm definitely telling this new theory to Sirius.

3)

It is so clearly obvious that Evans is off her rocker. I've never even done anything to her! Okay, maybe that's not entirely accurate. But she always overreacts by telling a professor and getting us Marauders in trouble—no wonder we keep on pranking her! She needs to learn her lesson.

Anyway, here's my question: why does she feel the need to throw me off the Astronomy Tower, remove all the bones in my body, re-grow them all with Skele-Grow, feed my organs to the Giant Squid, and finally push me into a bottomless hole in which I will scream forever? (I only know this because I asked her what she was going to do to me one day after I jinxed Snivellus in the hallway. I didn't know she'd take things so literally.)

Similar to Snape, I haven't quite put a concrete reason as to why she gets on my nerves so much. Sirius reckons that it's the red hair. He swears up and down that gingers are downright evil, and that they shouldn't be allowed in society. Evans absolutely hates when he goes off about that. Yesterday in History of Magic he was telling that joke about when a redhead gets sent to Azkaban (you know, the one where the dementors leave her alone because she has no soul?) and I was laughing hysterically. Evans didn't find it quite so amusing; she was actually trying to take notes. I believe she dumped her pot of ink on Sirius' head. This only served to make Sirius deliver another quip about "legendary redhead tempers." I swear to Godric that she almost exploded on the spot.

4)

Another so clearly obvious fact: I am a much better chaser than Tommy Montgomery and deserve the position on the Gryffindor team. Not to brag, but I easily score at least twice as many Quaffles as he does during practice. I'm only on the reserve team because Tommy is best mates with Jerome Livingston, the captain.

It's so unfair. Everyone else on the team can see that I would do a better job. They just don't want to talk back to Jerome because he's got biceps the size as tree trunks. At least he's a Seventh Year; he'll be gone next year. I was talking to Henry Wood after practice the other day, and he said he reckoned we wouldn't have lost to Slytherin if I would've been chasing instead of Tommy.

I just wish I could do something about it. I'm no Slytherin, so I wouldn't stoop to sabotage (although the thought of "accidentally" tripping Tommy in the hallway and breaking his leg has crossed my mind a few times). The only thing I can do is continually show him up in practice every day while Jerome turns a blind eye to the whole thing. It makes me so mad.

5)

Filch clearly needs to get a nicer cat. The other night, my fellow Marauders and I were out exploring the castle when Mrs. Norris bit me. We were minding our own business under my Invisibility Cloak when who should run into us by Filch's stupid cat. I blame Peter for not keeping better lookout. But we were still invisible, so the cat just unleashed her teeth right where my ankle happened to be located. Satisfied that she had made contact with flesh, the cat stalked off with an evil grin on her feline features. I guess I could be thanking my lucky stars that Filch didn't find us, but there is still a huge scratch all over my left leg. People were asking about it at Quidditch yesterday so I told them it was my bedpost. Somehow I don't think they believed me. It still hurts. And if it leaves a giant scar, I don't care if we get in trouble—I'm going to Dumbledore for physical abuse from a cat (ha-ha).

If only everyone else could see things as clearly as me.

* * *

**a/n:** Sorry for the randomness of these updates! I'll try to get writing and come up with a regular update schedule for you guys. Crossing my fingers. Chapter 4 is currently in the works but I'm questioning a lot of things about it so just give me a while to make up my mind about it… I hate being indecisive.

Anyway, let me know what you think about this chapter! Be sure to point out any mistakes – this was un-beta'd in my hurry to finally put it out there, so I'm sure there are plenty.

Also – which essay did you enjoy more, Lily's or James's? Did any parts make it last? Do you agree with any of James's statements?

And finally – I know I've asked this before but I'll ask again. Are their any other characters whose POVs you'd enjoy reading (Sirius, Remus, Peter, Snape?) I'd love to hear your suggestions as well as any other ideas you may have.

Oh and before I forget, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed/favorited/alerted this story so far :) Special thanks to **Sabanar, Fire the Canon, and MissFiyreabaMeponine** for reviewing the last chapter. It means a lot!


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